The tedious hour and a half drive adds to the exquisiteness that the Red Rock
Canyon State Park delivers as the drive there sets one up to expect something
mundane, but from a turn of a corner one is struck with a breath-taking view of
cultivated beauty.
Nice work, Aman !
ReplyDeleteI just have a few comments . . .
1. Cut "there" after "drive." You don't need it, and it just clutters the sentence.
2. Find a better word for "something." You could just write "to expect the mundane" or "to expect a mundane scene."
3. "Cultivated" implies a person actively cultivating. In other words, "cultivated" implies that someone has shaped this beauty. Keep "cultivated" if you want to imply a relationship to God or the divine; if you don't want that relationship or connotation, choose a different word.
Thank you for the feedback
ReplyDelete